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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/28631052">Loving You Is Easy</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/taegiradar/pseuds/taegiradar'>taegiradar</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Stray Kids (Band)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst, Exes to Lovers, Getting Back Together, Happy Ending, M/M, Model AU, Not Beta Read, One Shot, Sorry Not Sorry, hyunlix models, tagged teen &amp; up for swearing</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-01-08</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-01-08</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-13 11:26:58</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>2,268</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/28631052</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/taegiradar/pseuds/taegiradar</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Felix sees Hyunjin again after two years, and he realizes maybe the love they had never really left.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Hwang Hyunjin/Lee Felix</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>8</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>113</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Loving You Is Easy</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Loving Hyunjin was probably the easiest thing in the world for Felix. Hyunjin was simply loveable, in every aspect of that word. He had the kindest heart, one that could easily be played with, but he never let that change him. He had the most beautiful smile, one that made Felix want to drop everything just to see it over and over again. All in all, loving Hyunjin felt like the most natural thing to happen. Inevitable, even.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>That’s why when he found out it was hard for </span>
  <em>
    <span>Hyunjin</span>
  </em>
  <span> to love Felix, the world around him kinda collapsed.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He doesn’t blame Hyunjin. Not even in the slightest. Felix knows that love is love. Love is not something you can force, even if you desperately wanted to. It’s impossible to fake, and it’s damaging to hold on to if there’s nothing there. Felix doesn’t blame Hyunjin for letting go when he felt like he needed to.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He just wished he managed to let go, too. It’ll make going through today a lot easier, he thinks.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Mr. Lee, they’re ready for you at hair and makeup.” The staff smiled sweetly at him, and Felix could only muster up a fake one back.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He walks into the room, keeping his head low. He wants to avoid his gaze as much as he can. That’s the only way Felix can survive the day without bursting into tears in front of everyone. Thankfully, he manages to get his hair and makeup done, and even gets to change into the outfit without a single sight of Hyunjin. He thinks he might actually be able to pull through.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>But then he steps foot into the studio, and all he can </span>
  <em>
    <span>see</span>
  </em>
  <span> is Hyunjin.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He’s there, standing and talking with the director, exchanging small smiles and tiny laughter. The same smile Felix fell in love with, the same smile that used to be directed at him during casual banter and small talk. Hyunjin is </span>
  <em>
    <span>beautiful</span>
  </em>
  <span> - and that word doesn’t even come close to what Hyunjin is.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He has long hair now. Dyed a dirty blonde, ends reaching his shoulders. It’s styled wetly, shine reflecting the studio lights. It’s so hard to pull off, Felix knows. He has seen way too many failed attempts at this exact hairstyle - but of course, Hyunjin looks perfect. The makeup is simple, much like Felix’s, but somehow looks completely different on Hyunjin’s perfectly sculpted face. The suit he’s wearing is gorgeous, the more flashy one of the set they’re both wearing. It looks like it was made for Hyunjin.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Felix feels his heart rate pick up, and the painfully familiar butterflies in his stomach start to wake up from their slumber. It’s almost nauseating, because Felix hasn’t seen Hyunjin in </span>
  <em>
    <span>two fucking years</span>
  </em>
  <span> and the butterflies should be </span>
  <em>
    <span>dead</span>
  </em>
  <span> by now but they </span>
  <em>
    <span>aren’t</span>
  </em>
  <span>. Felix can only blame himself for that.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He walks towards the two, hyper-aware of every single movement his body makes. Every step, every breath, the way his hands move along the side of his body, and the way his smile remains on his face but nothing too much to suggest something. He’s beyond nervous, and he’s pretty sure the day isn’t going to end with dry eyes - but he has no choice. He accepted this deal, and it’s his duty to deliver for the camera.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Felix bows gently at both of them and greets them with a monotone voice. Nothing like his usual cheery, energetic one. He doesn’t meet Hyunjin’s eyes, but he does see the way his eyebrows furrow in confusion before he schools them back to normal. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Don’t think about it.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m glad both of you agreed to this, after all this time! You have no idea how in demand it is to get both of you back in a shoot together. I’m honored to be the one bringing it to them today.” The director speaks eagerly, and Felix honestly cannot blame her. They used to do shoots together all the time - this is a big deal.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Hyunjin still has that damn smile on his face. “We’re honored to still be in demand, honestly. Right, Felix?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Felix is stumped for a moment. Not too long to raise suspicion, but still long enough for Hyunjin to catch. “Yes, we are.” He nods at the director, still not daring to take a single glance at Hyunjin’s eyes. He knows the second he does, he won’t be able to control himself.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The director calls for the shoot to start, and finally, Felix can focus on something other than his own chest rising and falling. He knows how to do photoshoots. This is something he has been doing for years, and it’s something he feels comfortable doing. He can do this.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It goes okay, for the first hour. Felix does the thing he knows best, and shows his best shots and angles, all practiced. He follows the director’s guiding instructions carefully, and judging by the bright smile on her face - he’s doing well. Somehow, for the entire hour, he manages to still avoid Hyunjin’s gaze. It’s mostly because they’re still on different sides of the room - but Felix will take whatever he can get.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Alright! That’s the first part done. Just a short break and we’ll take more intimate shots, alright?” The director doesn’t even give them a second glance, instead goes straight to the monitor to review the photos already taken. Felix doesn’t need to see those, because he has done this so many times that he knows what the photos will turn out like.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Felix?” The voice that Felix can’t figure out if he loves or currently despises calls out.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He doesn’t want to answer. But for the sake of professionalism, he has to. Even if it breaks his heart in the process. “Yes?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Can you look at me? Please?” He speaks gently, as if Felix is a tiny kitten, scared of the world. (He does feel like one.)</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Felix can feel his resolve breaking. He can feel the tears behind his eyes threatening to spill. It’s too dangerous.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I can’t, Hyunjin.” His voice is shaky. A sign of weakness. A hint to Hyunjin about everything that he’s trying so desperately to hide.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Before Hyunjin can even ask why, the director comes back with the same bright smile. “Alright! Let’s get back to this.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>And honestly, that signals the start of Felix’s downfall.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Because now he has to look at Hyunjin. He has to bluff that everything is okay, he has to act like his heart isn’t still broken into 1500 pieces, and he has to pretend he’s still not horribly in love with the person who couldn’t love him anymore.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He moves into position, and once the director gives the cue - Felix rips his heart off his sleeve, and stores it deep, deep into a place nobody else can see. He smiles when told, he tilts his head when told, and he looks straight into Hyunjin’s eyes when told. It’s all on autopilot, his soul completely gone.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>And really, he should’ve seen the next events happening.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Mr. Lee? Are you feeling okay? Your photos aren’t coming out like your previous ones.” The director interrupts, and Felix has to take a moment to realize she’s talking to </span>
  <em>
    <span>him</span>
  </em>
  <span>. When he looks around the studio, everyone is staring worriedly at him, and he cowers under their gaze. A professional model, shying under the attention of bright lights and stranger’s eyes.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Felix feels stupid.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Lix?” The nickname catches Felix’s breath. He hasn’t heard that in two years. The last time he did, Hyunjin had sat him down on their living room sofa, and crushed his hea-</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Felix can’t do this.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I-I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. I have to go.” Felix runs to the nearest room with a door, and locks himself in. He would have run all the way out of the building and into a cab, but Felix doesn’t trust himself enough to get that far.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>And in that room, the front he put up the entire day breaks with the most deafening shatter, and he cries.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He sobs, heaves, and tears run down his face just like it did all those years ago. He curses himself for not being strong enough. He curses himself for not getting over Hyunjin when the other is </span>
  <em>
    <span>clearly </span>
  </em>
  <span>fine. He curses himself for still not being able to blame Hyunjin for any of this.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He cries for what feels like hours, but judging by the clock on the wall, it has only been 30 minutes. He leans back on the door and breathes deeply, slowing down his heartbeat. He’s exhausted, his makeup is ruined, the shoot is ruined - and all because Felix can’t get his </span>
  <em>
    <span>fucking shit</span>
  </em>
  <span> together.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>A gentle knock is heard from behind him. He really doesn’t want to face reality right now, but that’ll only make the situation worse. He has to act semi-professional at least.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah?” His voice is raw, and it hurts so much.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“The director said she’ll cancel the rest of the shoot. She understands that if you have anything going on, it’s okay to reschedule. She hopes you feel better soon.” Hyunjin’s voice pierces through to Felix’s heart.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“How about you?” Felix is tired. He can’t bother to build up a front anymore.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What do you mean?” Hyunjin is confused. Of course, he is.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Do </span>
  <em>
    <span>you</span>
  </em>
  <span> understand? Do </span>
  <em>
    <span>you</span>
  </em>
  <span> hope I feel better soon?” Felix asks, even though every word that leaves his lips feel like a scratch at his dry throat.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Of course I hope you feel better soon, Lix.” His voice is raised a single octave. He’s in disbelief. “I still care about you, you know?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Felix wants to believe it. Deep down, he knows that Hyunjin genuinely wants the best for him, even after everything. Felix just wants him to realize the best thing for him </span>
  <em>
    <span>is</span>
  </em>
  <span> Hyunjin.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I don’t, actually. It doesn’t feel like you do.” Felix is just being unreasonable at this point. But his eyes are stinging and his limbs ache for being in the same position for so long. He can’t bring himself to care.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Lix, god. Please. Can you open up?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Felix doesn’t have anything left to lose.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He unlocks the door and moves straight to the single sofa in the room. He can hear Hyunjin enter and lock the door behind him. This situation feels awfully familiar to Felix.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Felix? Are you okay?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It’s a stupid question. Of course, Felix isn’t fucking okay. “What do you think, Hyunjin?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The other hangs his head down in shame. They’re close again, only sitting a few centimeters apart. Felix tries not to revel in Hyunjin’s warmth.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I still… I still care about you, Lix. I have never stopped caring about you.” His voice is genuine. One that Felix tries not to place hope in.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I never stopped loving you.” Felix’s heart is back on his sleeve, now more than ever.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Hyunjin’s eyes widen slightly. “Y-You do?” He shakes his head, as if to check if this is all real. “I-I mean you still love me? Even now?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Even now.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>There’s silence for a while. Felix sees a gentle spark in Hyunjin’s eyes. One that he wills his heart not to attach to.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I… never stopped loving you too.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Felix’s heart attaches.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You can’t be serious, right? Hyunjin, after all these years?” Felix wants to sink back into not believing. He wants to stop hoping. But with Hyunjin looking at him like his entire life problems just got solved - it’s hard not to.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>There’s guilt painted across his face. “I know. Fuck, I know what I did and I know it seems fucking stupid for me to say this now, when it’s so unfair for you but-” Hyunjin’s breath quickens. “But I promise you, I am 100% serious right now. I made the biggest mistake of my life, that day. I haven’t been able to forgive myself for that. For letting the best part of me go.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Felix doesn’t want to spend more time crying. He’s had enough of that.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He looks up at Hyunjin, straight into his eyes - and sees the same desperation he has felt for the past two years in them. “Why now?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Hyunjin doesn’t even hesitate, as if he has this all practiced. As if he was hoping, all this time too. “I needed a break, at the time. Just like how I told you. I just didn’t realize then that it wasn’t </span>
  <em>
    <span>you</span>
  </em>
  <span> I needed a break from. It was the job, my family, my own brain. I was a mess because I found out that I let go of the one thing that kept me sane amidst all that. I was so stupid, Felix.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Felix lets his heart warm up, this time. “You made me think I was unlovable, Hyun.” Both of them relish in the way the nickname falls out of his mouth so easily.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You aren’t. God, you are so </span>
  <em>
    <span>so</span>
  </em>
  <span> far from unlovable, Lix. You </span>
  <em>
    <span>are</span>
  </em>
  <span> love to me. You are everything love is, and everything it isn’t. I’m so sorry for even making you feel that for a second, and I promise I will make sure you never feel that way ever again.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Another chance. Another shot at love.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It’ll take time, a lot of talking and learning how to love again - for each other, and most importantly themselves.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>But as Felix looks up at Hyunjin’s beaming smile, he’s willing to do it all.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You better.” He says with a smile, a laugh rising out from his throat like it’s the most natural thing in the world.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I promise.”</span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>inspired by <a href="https://twitter.com/lemojyp/status/1347477516504559619">this photoshoot</a>.</p><p>i have no idea where this came from. im so sorry.</p><p>say hi on <a href="https://twitter.com/forthegiven">twitter</a> or <a href="https://curiouscat.qa/eternitytrack">cc</a>.</p></blockquote></div></div>
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